Me Valentine's Day, and you?

Edited by Dr Eleonora Lanza 
Psychopedagogist and Mental Coach

Dear reader,

On Valentine's Day, the feast of lovers, I would like to invite you to reflect on a force that profoundly influences our well-being: love. On this special day we celebrate the irrepressible euphoria of being in love, but we also know how painful the end of a love affair can be. But do we know why love has such an overwhelming impact on us? Because it not only acts emotionally, but also physically and psychologically! The philosopher Pascal said: 'The heart has its reasons that reason does not know". And it is indeed true: reason and heart, two distinct tracks travelling parallel, sometimes separate and at different speeds. One escapes the control of the other, yet they are both part of our nature.

But did you know that besides being a powerful emotional force, falling in love also has the healthiest effects on your health? Let's see them together:

1. It reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol, lowering the risk of heart disease.
2. It stimulates the production of oxytocin, the 'attachment hormone', which promotes relaxation and a sense of security.
3. It strengthens the immune system, making us more resistant to infection.
4. It promotes the release of endorphins, improving mood and reducing pain.

Alexander Lowen, the father of bioenergetic psychotherapy, argued that true love is not just an emotion, but a deep physical experience. According to him, only those who breathe freely, move fluidly and let their emotions flow without blockages can fully experience a healthy love relationship. In contrast, a body that is rigid and contracted by fears limits the ability to love. And what benefits does this have on the psyche? Being loved is a powerful antidote against anxiety and depression. Erich Fromm asserted that loving means coming out of oneself, overcoming selfishness and creating authentic bonds. It is not a spontaneous emotion, but a skill to be carefully cultivated.

Also John Bowlby, the father of attachment theory, emphasised how secure emotional relationships are crucial to our emotional equilibrium. Feeling loved and being able to love protects us from loneliness and strengthens our identity. The neuroscientist Antonio Damasio has shown that emotions, including falling in love, are not just products of the mind, but have a direct impact on the body. In his book "Descartes' error"explains how mind and body are closely interconnected: what we feel emotionally translates into physical signals that influence our overall health.

Daniel Golemanauthor of "Emotional intelligence" that other colleagues have already reported on these pages, also emphasises the importance of love in social relationships and personal growth. The ability to love depends on emotional intelligence, i.e. our ability to understand, manage and communicate emotions. A good emotional balance allows us to live healthier relationships, reducing stress and increasing well-being. In agreement with these authors, we can sum up by agreeing that cultivating love is not just a romantic act, but a form of healing that deeply nourishes and transforms the body and mind. This Valentine's Day, while celebrating love with your partner or loved ones, remember also to celebrate love for yourself. Take care of your heart, mind and body. Because taking care of love also means taking care of yourself, in body and spirit.

We at Psychology and Well-being wish you a wonderful day, full of joy, affection and well-being for the couple and for yourselves.

With affection,
The Psychology and Well-being Team 💕

Bibliography
Bowlby, J. (1972). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1 Attachment to the mother. Bollati Boringhieri.
Bowlby, J. (1983). A secure foundation: Clinical applications of attachment theory. Cortina Publisher.
Damasio, A. (1995). Descartes' error: Emotion, reason and the human brain. Adelphi.
Fromm, E. (1994). The art of loving. Mondadori .
Goleman, D. (1997). Emotional intelligence: What it is and why it can make us happy. BUR Rizzoli.
Lowen, A. (1978). Bioenergetics: The revolutionary therapy that uses body language to heal problems of the mind. 

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